Life, as it is

Hello, it's been awhile since I've last written on here. Very soon i will be moving to a new blog with instead of writing my opinions on stuff I will just share specifically what God is doing in my life and the lives of those around me. I was just realizing that those are the most powerful things to read anyways. Maybe I will give some encouragements from the word too.

Things have been going really well lately. God is really changing my heart. I came to FIRE with a lot of anticipation and naivette. I have been both blown away with amazement at amazing things happening that I would never expect and also dissapointed. People are people wherever we go, and honestly I am beginning to find more comfort in that. It doesn't matter so much in finding the right group of believers to get edified and on fire for God. The focus shifts now for me at least to feed myself on the word and prayer and be the catalyst for change in whatever community I find myself in. People are people. That also has been kind of an obvious but startling discovery in evangelism. For some reason I always let the fear come to my mind that when I witness to someone they will be like the president of the athiest's association and just know so much about science and whatever and I will just have no idea to respond and they will go away even more convinced that christianity is false. And yet everywhere I go people are normal, they are just seeking to be satisfied somehow in this life. They want love, friendship and kindness.

With prayer here it has been interesting. This trimester all my roommates left and I had a new roommate who used to be a pastor in Cameroon but he wanted more training so he came to FIRE. We had a lot of adventures together, including turning the heat off almost all winter just to save money. I had a lot more time to myself with less roommates so I was able to get to know God better and just see his beauty through his word. I really want to start to memorize all of the promises in the bible. Even just descriptors of his character, haha I think God loved it when he told Moses that he was so angry with the Israelites that he would cut them off from the earth and make a people from Moses' line. But Moses argued with God and said "No, they're you're people, and you brought them out here, for the sake of your glory and your reputation you better save them. You are a merciful God and true they've been totally rebellious but your glory is more important than that". I want to know God so well that I can say with confidence "God, I love you, I know that I haven't obeyed you as I should but I know that you are a faithful God, abounding in mercy and so I cast myself on your mercy, you're my only hope, please transform my life". Our hope can never be in our own righteousness but in God's abounding righteousness and love. Nobody can pray "God, you know I've been pretty good lately, I think I deserve for you to give me a promotion at work, or you just fix my marriage on the basis of my righteousness". I don't think Isaiah was kidding around when he said our righteousness is as filthy rags (64:6). I think it is such a marvelous hope that we having in the chesedh (lovingkindness) of God.

It really also just takes such a burden off of my shoulders, I don't need to strive so hard to be good and holy. In fact it is impossible to do so. Jesus said that if we want to enter into heaven our righteousness needs to exceed that of the Pharisees. All I need to do is just look to God for his grace to transform me and humble myself because "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble". This is really neat, as I was writing this I just thought of Luke 18, I never made this connection between the significance of the two stories together in this chapter. The story that really fits with what I have been thinking about is the tax collector and the Pharisee who both come into the temple and the Pharisee thanks God "that I am not like other men, I fast twice a week... etc" but the tax collector stands off to the side and just beats his breast and earnestly cries out to God "have mercy on me, a sinner". Jesus said that this man not the other is the one who goes home justified before God. But if you look at the story before that it has such a similar theme, even though I always thought they were different. Jesus told them a parable to show that they should always pray and not give up... and in this parable the persistent widow gets her request not because of money or stature but because of persistence and that from an unjust judge and then Jesus ends with "how much more will God grant his holy one justice who cry out to him day and night?". We can have such a confidence in God not only because of our persistence but so much more so because God is just and he is merciful. What a beautiful thing, it makes you just want to throw your life and every thing that is going on in your life in God's hands.

Haha, I kind of get sidetracked easily. I was going to say more about specifically is going on in my life but I might do that later. I am heading back to Saskatchewan on April 2nd. I am so excited, I'm going back to Millar to visit all the people I went to school with last year. I really miss a lot of people. I hear God is really moving there this year and people have got even more passionate about prayer and missions. Those two things will start revival. I also just want to encourage them to more faith. A lot of times this trimester I kept gathering stories of miracles so that I could go back and brag about FIRE, but then I think God rebuked that prideful attitude in me one class here when we learned about the body of Christ. That is another really beautiful thing to ponder. The kingdom of heaven on this earth and all of us being sons and daughters of God. The more that we think of these things the more that denominational barriers and doctrines and past wrongs and all these things that divide will fall to the wayside and we will become one in Christ as we are. We are his body, can you imagine if a human body stopped working together? If the mouth said to the legs "I don't need you" it would just lie there on the road talking a lot. That may be an accurate picture of the church today ;), I say that in jest and almost with regret because God really has given me a deep love for the body of Christ and I'm sick of people in the church criticizing it. When we say "the church in North America is dead" or some vast generalization like that not only are we including ourself unadmitently in that judgment but we are disregarding the power of God that is still breathing life and vitality in the midst of religion. Let us throw off all these things that hinder unity and let us love our brothers and sisters. It sounds so simple, and actually it is. Forgive those who wronged you and ask forgiveness of those you've wronged. Humble yourself and encourage one another. If you have a problem go directly to that person and work it through if they don't listen follow Matthew 18. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for building others up. So that it may benefit those who listen. My goodness, let's quit thinking other people are the problem and let's let God absolutely radically transform our hearts. Let's deeply surrender to God and just let him conform us to Christ. The world won't know how to handle us, God will start moving, and we will actually be far more satisfied in him than ever before.

Oh man, the beauty of community, what a message for my own life. I love you all, let's go after God together. Fight the good fight of faith and finish the race, take a hold of that for which Christ took a hold of us. Peace.